


Darcy Lewis And Her Love/Hate Relationship With Alan Davies

by TheJoysOfAMultishipper (Amemah)



Series: These Aren't My Best Work, But They Can Still Be Read If You've Got Nothing Better To Do. [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Cupcakes, Ducklings - Freeform, F/M, M/M, Out Of Character Because Fluff, Soulmate-Identifying Marks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-15
Updated: 2014-11-15
Packaged: 2018-02-25 12:05:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2621081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amemah/pseuds/TheJoysOfAMultishipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Here's hoping he's funny, and not a misogynistic asshole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darcy Lewis And Her Love/Hate Relationship With Alan Davies

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY. AT ALL. OKAY?  
> \- Slight out of character and Bucky would definitely not be this at ease after just coming back from, you know. Hydra and shit. - 
> 
> So, I was watching QI-videos on YouTube because the English are funny little fuckers, aren't they? And then Alan Davies went and said something funny - as always - and I knew that if I wanted Bucky to say it, I would have to write it myself.  
> This took literally around 20-30 minuted to write, and could probably be a lot better, but it at least the grammar is on point. 
> 
> If you still want to read some of the other things I've written, I promise you... Those fics are better. Well, I think so. There's even another Bucky/Darcy fic if you want, and it turned out to be way more successful than I thought it'd be, so yay! Go read that. If you want to. You do you. 
> 
> Uhm, let me know what you think?  
> Tumblr: amemah.tumblr.com
> 
> Hugs and kisses <3
> 
> (The link to the video is in the end notes.)
> 
> \--- As always, I reserve the right to fix any mistakes I missed before posting :)

"Darcy, look! I’ve gotten you another lost duckling. Say you love me,” Natasha had practically _skipped_ into the kitchen of Avengers Tower, Steve on her tail. A shaggy-looking man was walking between them; his – admittedly very pretty – face looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. Clearly Steve had set his earnest, all-American eyes on him, because the little shit definitely knew how effective they were. Darcy still regretted showing him Shrek three months later, and seriously. How could she not have seen how the tactician would have adopted Puss In Boots’ eyes? The only one she knew they didn’t work on was Fury, and that was only because he was too busy laughing his ass off.

 

“Natasha…” Steve hissed, shooting a look at the man behind him, who – by the way – was outright grinning now.

“Come on, Stevie,” He laughed, bumping his shoulder into him. “I’m not a homicidal maniac anymore, and ducklings are _adorable_ ,”

“Oh, please,” Natasha scoffed, moving to stand beside Darcy, as she finished up some cupcakes. No, her curves weren’t one hundred percent genetic, but whatever. She still looked smokin’, and clearly, Natasha – and James – agreed. “You just want an in with the pin up-model.” She smiled at Darcy’s blush, kissing her cheek in a thank you for the cupcake Darcy definitely didn’t say she could have.

 

“Think I need your help getting’ dames, Tasha?” He laughed, a very charming smile directed at Darcy. Steve was rolling his eyes, muttering something to Sam about _Jesus Christ, you were brainwashed three fucking days ago, how ‘bout a_ nap _first?_

“Okay,” How Natasha managed to sound so dignified with so much cupcake in her mouth was honestly more impressive than her ability to choke grown men with her thighs. Okay, maybe not, but it was up there, just beneath riding an alien motorcycle or bug, whatever it was. The Battle of New York was confusing from the perspective of a TV in _Norway_ , okay. “Show us your best,” Natasha smirked, nodding her head toward Darcy.

“What’s going on?” She asked Natasha, passing her another cupcake, this time with cream cheese frosting. She had an impressive bosom to maintain, you couldn’t do that if you were on a diet.

 

“Bucky’s going to woo you,” Steve rolled his eyes, sitting down at the kitchen island, taking a seat next to Bucky.

“Then why hasn’t he said anything yet?” Darcy glanced over at Bucky, and if she was a lesser woman she’d have blushed at the look in his eyes. To keep herself from blurting something stupid about pretty boys and almost _prettier_ metal-arms, she took a bite of a cupcake herself. God, it was really good, as proved by the downright dirty groan passing her lips. Oh well, there was worse ways of introducing yourself to Captain America’s pet assassin/long lost best friend, than with a noise out of a 70’s-porno. Probably. Maybe. Hopefully.

 

“ _If you wanna moan like that again, I’ve got a five-inch tongue and can breathe through my ears_ ,” James – Bucky? – said, thoroughly enjoying the way both Darcy and Sam was choking on their respective cupcakes. Steve was looking like he wanted the floor to swallow him up, and Darcy wondered if maybe she shouldn’t have shown him Totally Spies. Eh, Clover was too fucking awesome to miss out on, and Jerry really reminded her of Coulson.

“ _Makes sense we’re soulmates then, considering my non-existent gag-reflex_ ,” She finally managed to answer (cough out), and through her watering eyes she could see the way his eyes widened at her words.

 

“For fuck’s sake,” Steve sighed, resting his head on the wooden table. Sam clapped his back, shooting a look between the recently discovered soulmates.

“There’s two of them now,” Sam whispered, thinking to himself that there was no way this could be worse than Afghanistan. _Right_? Just a Political Science-major and her soviet-assassin/spy/sniper-soulmate. Brilliant.

Natasha was laughing in a way that made you wonder which government-secret she was currently thinking about.

Coulson was too busy dealing with Junior Agents calling him ‘Jerry’ to give a shit about any of this. He was just praying Jarvis wouldn’t end up like Gladis.

**Author's Note:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNayW8NRggQ
> 
> Video :)
> 
>  
> 
> (Not a single character portrayed here is mine, which really sucks 'cause I'd probably be really rich now if that was the case. They belong to Marvel or whoever, and just don't sue, mmkay? Mmkay.)
> 
> (South Park, frick yeah)


End file.
